Just thinking... When I awoke this morning I turned on the television before I sat up and even before I went to the bathroom. It was like I had to make sure that everything was OK. I remembered that morning five years ago so well. Now, here it is five hours later and I still have a knot in my gut and wonder if that feeling will ever leave. We were safe in Spokane, Washington but our world became fractured just like the rest of world. Where were our family members? How I wished I could have them all right next to me in those moments and days that followed. We knew people who had friends and relatives working at the World Trade Towers or the Pentagon. How were they doing? How are they doing now? I was scheduled to fly to Dallas for a conference on September 12. Would I choose to fly? That was decided by the grounding of all flights. I remember those days that followed and the only planes that we saw were those taking off and landing at the local Air Force base. What a feeling of relief I felt the day that regular flights began and the local skies were active again with everyday people being able to go about their business albeit in a much more guarded mode. Do I feel safer now than then? No!! Perhaps I never will.

A Special Memory -- Last month I spent several days in Idaho Falls visiting my Mom. One afternoon as I was driving from the extended care facility to my sister's house I was lifted from my down feelings when I saw this marquee. Could it be? The very first outdoor movie place I ever went to was still standing and still showing first run movies? Sure enough it has been in continuous existence for over 50 years and has ridden the tide from almost nonexistence to the current resurgence. This particular Motor Vu is very close to the house we lived in when I was very young. The area surrounding this place used to be primarily agricultural. Think -- Idaho potatoes. Today it is mostly commercial (light industrial). The site itself is weedy just as it has always been. There are cars parked beside to sign with For Sale signs in their windows. The sun was very bright that day so I was not able to get a good picture of the screen and its support. The picture on the left shows the ticket gate and the picture on the right is from the exit. I remember when we were little wanting to go early so that we could play on the swings and slide which were right in front of the screen. The concession stand was also a very special treat for us. Here we are at the entrance to the Sky Vu which is also located in Idaho Falls. My earliest memories of a particular movie I saw was here. This was where I first saw Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It is amazing how much has changed yet how much has remained the same.

Trigeminal Neuralgia-- Oh God, What a Pain! I have had this problem for over three years now. Last month I even had a procedure that was supposed to correct the problem. It hasn't. The pain is unbearable. I move my lips and am immediatlely in a sucking positition with incredible pain. I have a pain in my face almost constantly and this is after having what is called gamma knife proceedure. I can take a lot but something has to give !!!!!

Beautiful August Day--

Yesterday was a particularly beautiful day here. I drive over to Point Defiance at least once every week to take in the scenery but I have only been to the zoo once several years ago when we went to Zoo Lights in December. On that visit we only saw a goat but the lights were incredible. So, yesterday we decided to go and just visit the animals. Point Defiance Zoo is an award winning zoo and is not big. It is located on an incredibly beautiful spot of this earth. We saw tigers, penquins, beluga whales, walruses, musk ox, puffins, monkeys and Puget Sound sealife. We also saw a six year old beaver on a leash enjoying a walk around the zoo. He even went up and down stairs.

Here are some pictures to share our experience.

There were bright flowers everywhere.

Sumatran Tigers

This tiger is beautiful. This is a young male who is a recent addition to the zoo. Since the day was quite warm we caught him cooling himself in this corner. I couldn't believe how close I was. I apologize for the reflection.

We also looked for a long time for the female tiger who was out in the habitat. Finally, we we able to see her laying above a little creek bed and in the bushes. It is truly amazing how well she blended into her surroundings.

These flowers are in their last days of the season.

Pictures of life in the Puget Sound --

These creatures are from different parts of the Sound which is unique in its salt water and fresh water composition.

This walrus was very hard to capture with the camera. He was very fast and more interested in playing than posing.

As we were leaving the zoo we were reminded of just how special this place is.

Mount Rainier, the Sound and Zoo Entrance as seen from the parking lot.

All in all, a beautiful day!!

These Strange Times We Are In . . . A friend of mine says that our blogs should have pictures. Since I am not the artist she is and I have not quite figured all of this out yet, I will be adding few pictures to start. However, since moving to Tacoma I have witnessed an ongoing optical illusion that gives me a start each time that I see it. We are living in an apartment in the Stadium District of Tacoma. Our apartment looks out to Commencement Bay. SeaTac Airport and McChord Air Force Base are not far away from here. In fact, the huge transport planes from McChord have a flight pattern that sweeps across the bay and then heads south down the coast line. With all the deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan there are flights almost daily. A couple of weeks ago there were flights heading out every few minutes. Seeing those huge planes low over the bay is one thing but as you can see by this picture sometimes it is unnerving. This plane is one of the smaller ones that fly the pattern. Every time I see this I am taken aback momentarily. My thoughts are " Oh, no, here we go again." To think that I probably would not have had such thoughts but for 9/11. Now onto the apartment. This is a test for us as we get ready to make our final retirement plans. Can we live in the city? Do we want to live in the city? How much more can we downsize? All of that stuff... So far we have decided that after 30 years of marriage it is really the pits trying to downsize. Lucky for us we have moved several times so it is does not seem like an impossibility. We have also decided that we would still like to have a least a small piece of grass to mow or dirt to plant flowers. Each day we get closer to knowing what we would like and hopefully can afford when we move east to be closer to Erica and Geoff. The apartment then has been a good testing ground.

Where is She Now?

Growing older is easy when you look at how fast time goes. But, in reality it is much harder than one would think. Sure there are lots and lots of physical aches and pains but it is the people thing that makes it so hard. I thought that the void I felt when my Dad died was the most hollow feeling in the world. Now, I know that there are equal and worse voids. Dealing with a parent or other family member with dementia is possibly worse. The week before Mother's Day this year my mother suffered an incident precipitated by an infection that has left her in a state that is not in the "now." Perhaps we saw some signs earlier; perhaps they weren't there but Mom is not Mom any longer. As my sister said, "Now we have to say 'Good Bye' twice." It makes me angry; it makes me sad; it makes me feel alone. She has always been there for me and for my sisters and brother. And, now she has difficulty remembering any of us. This in a woman who never forgot a name or a face. I hope to use this blog to tell my story of my mother. It will take some time but time is something I have. I just wish I had more time with her.

It Is Time to Post

In the last few months I have become intrigued with blogs posted by some folks I know. I sometimes feel like I am peeking in on them but mostly I appreciate seeing how they are doing and being able to share in their thoughts in some way. At the same time I have been pondering how I should or whether I should compose thoughts on what is happening in my life. Since I have never been one to "journal" and I do enjoy using the computer, I have decided that it is time for me to "journal" some and I am going to use this platform to test it. Who knows? Maybe, I will really like it. The title is simply an indication of where I am in time. Yes, I am a boomer. And I am one of those who turns 60 this year. The year so far has been one of major change and there is more change to come. So while I try to hold onto the past and present, time just keeps on passing.

So, here I am 59 and Holding.