Monday, June 12, 2006

Where is She Now?
Growing older is easy when you look at how fast time goes. But, in reality it is much harder than one would think. Sure there are lots and lots of physical aches and pains but it is the people thing that makes it so hard. I thought that the void I felt when my Dad died was the most hollow feeling in the world. Now, I know that there are equal and worse voids. Dealing with a parent or other family member with dementia is possibly worse. The week before Mother's Day this year my mother suffered an incident precipitated by an infection that has left her in a state that is not in the "now." Perhaps we saw some signs earlier; perhaps they weren't there but Mom is not Mom any longer. As my sister said, "Now we have to say 'Good Bye' twice." It makes me angry; it makes me sad; it makes me feel alone. She has always been there for me and for my sisters and brother. And, now she has difficulty remembering any of us. This in a woman who never forgot a name or a face. I hope to use this blog to tell my story of my mother. It will take some time but time is something I have. I just wish I had more time with her.

1 comment:

OCD Bunni said...

My heart goes out to you during this difficult time. Living in MA - I have many friends that are "seasoned" and the hardest part of our friendship is when they get to the point where they don't remember things - or their once strong bodies begin to break down. I guess this maybe a time when you can be more of the "friend" to your mom - loving her the way you do as her child and sharing the memories like they were new.
~bunnihuggles~