Tuesday, June 13, 2006

These Strange Times We Are In . . . A friend of mine says that our blogs should have pictures. Since I am not the artist she is and I have not quite figured all of this out yet, I will be adding few pictures to start. However, since moving to Tacoma I have witnessed an ongoing optical illusion that gives me a start each time that I see it. We are living in an apartment in the Stadium District of Tacoma. Our apartment looks out to Commencement Bay. SeaTac Airport and McChord Air Force Base are not far away from here. In fact, the huge transport planes from McChord have a flight pattern that sweeps across the bay and then heads south down the coast line. With all the deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan there are flights almost daily. A couple of weeks ago there were flights heading out every few minutes. Seeing those huge planes low over the bay is one thing but as you can see by this picture sometimes it is unnerving. This plane is one of the smaller ones that fly the pattern. Every time I see this I am taken aback momentarily. My thoughts are " Oh, no, here we go again." To think that I probably would not have had such thoughts but for 9/11. Now onto the apartment. This is a test for us as we get ready to make our final retirement plans. Can we live in the city? Do we want to live in the city? How much more can we downsize? All of that stuff... So far we have decided that after 30 years of marriage it is really the pits trying to downsize. Lucky for us we have moved several times so it is does not seem like an impossibility. We have also decided that we would still like to have a least a small piece of grass to mow or dirt to plant flowers. Each day we get closer to knowing what we would like and hopefully can afford when we move east to be closer to Erica and Geoff. The apartment then has been a good testing ground.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Where is She Now?
Growing older is easy when you look at how fast time goes. But, in reality it is much harder than one would think. Sure there are lots and lots of physical aches and pains but it is the people thing that makes it so hard. I thought that the void I felt when my Dad died was the most hollow feeling in the world. Now, I know that there are equal and worse voids. Dealing with a parent or other family member with dementia is possibly worse. The week before Mother's Day this year my mother suffered an incident precipitated by an infection that has left her in a state that is not in the "now." Perhaps we saw some signs earlier; perhaps they weren't there but Mom is not Mom any longer. As my sister said, "Now we have to say 'Good Bye' twice." It makes me angry; it makes me sad; it makes me feel alone. She has always been there for me and for my sisters and brother. And, now she has difficulty remembering any of us. This in a woman who never forgot a name or a face. I hope to use this blog to tell my story of my mother. It will take some time but time is something I have. I just wish I had more time with her.
It Is Time to Post
In the last few months I have become intrigued with blogs posted by some folks I know. I sometimes feel like I am peeking in on them but mostly I appreciate seeing how they are doing and being able to share in their thoughts in some way. At the same time I have been pondering how I should or whether I should compose thoughts on what is happening in my life. Since I have never been one to "journal" and I do enjoy using the computer, I have decided that it is time for me to "journal" some and I am going to use this platform to test it. Who knows? Maybe, I will really like it. The title is simply an indication of where I am in time. Yes, I am a boomer. And I am one of those who turns 60 this year. The year so far has been one of major change and there is more change to come. So while I try to hold onto the past and present, time just keeps on passing.
So, here I am 59 and Holding.